Right now I am in a city I lived for two school years. Not consecutive years by the way... I hated the first year here, went somewhere else and then came back. Tried it again, though better in some ways than the first year, it wasn't the place I belonged. I then ventured to a different school the following year. This year I am going back to that school. This is the first time to be in the same school two years in a row. That's pretty impressive, or sad? It's been what I needed and it has made sense for my life.
Anyway as I visit here, I can't help to miss it. I made a lot of friends this summer that go to school here. I can tell that I have come a long way, I have grown up and I no longer hate it here. I am at peace. I have grown up. I do sometimes miss things about this place. But I know where I am is where I need to be this year I pray that God has a plan for my life and that I am willing to take me where he leads me.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Memories
Now that I'm done with camp I have a lot more free time. This isn't always a good thing...
When I have a lot of free it's thoughts galore! Try and keep up, this might get pretty random, but this will give you a taste of what is going through my head on the daily.
This summer at camp we did a Passion play on Friday night and as I write I'm listening to the music that was played as the scenes were acted out. I can see everything as it happens according to the songs. These are some of the memories I love. I can see Cj playing Jesus; I see Zach, Kyle and Taylor pretending to untangle a fishing net. I see James as Lazarus being raised from the dead. This music is so powerful. I love being able to picture those amazing Friday nights. So many tears were shed each week as the campers watched in awe.
I find the way we can trigger memories to be an astonishing thing. It's is not just things that we see or hear, but it can be triggered by things we smell or taste. These are some of my favorite triggers.
I sip my coffee this Sabbath morning, I can picture all the mornings my mom woke me up with hot coffee, topped off with whipped cream and sprinkles in one of her favorite tea cups.
My mom took this exact coffee to my little sister today, saddened by the fact that this is her last Sabbath at home. She is headed off to her first year of college on Wednesday.
Dreams are memories I wonder the meaning of as I wake, and sometimes even later in the day.
Evers so often when I'm lay down with my eyes closed I can start to recollect a dream that I believe I've had many times. I don't know what the dream is about or even how to describe it, but I can feel it. As I lay there I'm absorbed into this powerful feeling but then I lose it as quickly as it appeared.
I have lived in Colorado my whole life, so in other words I have memories all over this state. I went to the same school for 12 years, so I know that area like no other. Sometimes it's fun to relive the memories other times it brings on pain, sadness and frustration. I drive by places and remember the laughs and the tears. Where my and my boyfriend at the time went on a date, where we cried together on a park bench. Where I was when I learned of deaths of friends and classmates. Where I got into my first car accident and then my second only a couple blocks away.
Things have changed in my life in many ways. I know that is what growing up is, but sometimes it hurts instead of bring a smile to my face as I relive the past. I miss the friends or high school and the fun we had when we would hang out, we had so much random fun. I know it brings a huge smile to my face as I remember the night we watched Troy.
The point of all this is that we have memories to remember life. With out memories what do we have? We would only have the present, life would feel so empty. The good and the bad memories teach us lessons, they keep us connected to places and people. Even though it is hard to sit in the midst of them sometimes, I wouldn't trade them. I still laugh as I watch youtube videos made with my best friend, and smile at the pictures of us on the many incredible trips we went on.
It's okay to remember the past and relive the memories, but don't let the past consume your present or your future. Keep making memories, and do things that you will look back at and think, "Remember when we did this...." and not, "I wish I had done that..."
When I have a lot of free it's thoughts galore! Try and keep up, this might get pretty random, but this will give you a taste of what is going through my head on the daily.
This summer at camp we did a Passion play on Friday night and as I write I'm listening to the music that was played as the scenes were acted out. I can see everything as it happens according to the songs. These are some of the memories I love. I can see Cj playing Jesus; I see Zach, Kyle and Taylor pretending to untangle a fishing net. I see James as Lazarus being raised from the dead. This music is so powerful. I love being able to picture those amazing Friday nights. So many tears were shed each week as the campers watched in awe.
I find the way we can trigger memories to be an astonishing thing. It's is not just things that we see or hear, but it can be triggered by things we smell or taste. These are some of my favorite triggers.
I sip my coffee this Sabbath morning, I can picture all the mornings my mom woke me up with hot coffee, topped off with whipped cream and sprinkles in one of her favorite tea cups.
My mom took this exact coffee to my little sister today, saddened by the fact that this is her last Sabbath at home. She is headed off to her first year of college on Wednesday.
Dreams are memories I wonder the meaning of as I wake, and sometimes even later in the day.
Evers so often when I'm lay down with my eyes closed I can start to recollect a dream that I believe I've had many times. I don't know what the dream is about or even how to describe it, but I can feel it. As I lay there I'm absorbed into this powerful feeling but then I lose it as quickly as it appeared.
I have lived in Colorado my whole life, so in other words I have memories all over this state. I went to the same school for 12 years, so I know that area like no other. Sometimes it's fun to relive the memories other times it brings on pain, sadness and frustration. I drive by places and remember the laughs and the tears. Where my and my boyfriend at the time went on a date, where we cried together on a park bench. Where I was when I learned of deaths of friends and classmates. Where I got into my first car accident and then my second only a couple blocks away.
Things have changed in my life in many ways. I know that is what growing up is, but sometimes it hurts instead of bring a smile to my face as I relive the past. I miss the friends or high school and the fun we had when we would hang out, we had so much random fun. I know it brings a huge smile to my face as I remember the night we watched Troy.
The point of all this is that we have memories to remember life. With out memories what do we have? We would only have the present, life would feel so empty. The good and the bad memories teach us lessons, they keep us connected to places and people. Even though it is hard to sit in the midst of them sometimes, I wouldn't trade them. I still laugh as I watch youtube videos made with my best friend, and smile at the pictures of us on the many incredible trips we went on.
It's okay to remember the past and relive the memories, but don't let the past consume your present or your future. Keep making memories, and do things that you will look back at and think, "Remember when we did this...." and not, "I wish I had done that..."
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